when can i ever fly?

when will i ever be free of all these and travel to wherever i want? will it ever come in the first place?

Ah.

y is life and time so. so fragile?

I been thinking, why is life and time so fragile and so fast? One may think 10 years is alot but who can know what is going to happen tommorow? Will the world really end at 2012? Why do people keep speculate about how is humanity going to be wipe off from Gaia? Time is like gold. But gold cannot buy time. If only, if only time is able to be paused for eternity wouldnt all these questions be solved? Such fragility. Those innocence then, i miss it. Those days where one think your life is gonna be forever unaltered. if only then i knew. if only.

So fragile yet so precious. Wouldnt one agree so?

hopefully.

yet another day gone by.

went to check those japanese schools today with friends. its funny that the school that look the most dubious to me in fact appeal more to me then the other two schools that looked more professional lol. sadly the test to get a cert is on 1st week of december which apparently my friend told me A levels end 3rd of Dec and with history some more and i went woooo people will be celebrating while i am doing history.... unlucky ttm sia. But nevermind, finally get to learn the language i wanted to learn and hopefully can perserve enough to achieve the highest level. Haiz should really have started like 2 years ago man, too bad i was wasting time on games like dota then. computer stinks man.

Oh and tried to find GP tys at JP just now and there isnt any man, so how am i going to hand in or bring my tys that doesnt even exist now when monday arrives? Looks like i have another thing to worry now. Currently bored or feeling lost, no mood dota no mood wow no mood game and anything i wanted to surf also surfed like at least 5 times, whats with me man i really do not know wth is with me currently. Watched "Universal Soldier" just now and i think it sucks totally. For people that like action scene go ahead and watch but for me i really do not like those gore plus shallow plot, its such a watse of my money. I hate this movie season, no tearjerkers nor touching movies to watch.

So. a new weekend is coming. will it be as tiring as the one before? i certainly think so. haiz. i really hate this kind of life. ttm.

.

Regrets.

Hiatus.

its nearing feb soon. being a j2 i realise those comments about route to A levels are hard are indeed true. i do feel like giving up some times, give up on everything and just go on a never ending holiday around the world and take a glance into other countries happenings. I do hate the never ending work and constant harping on consistency by everyone around me, everyone will just shrug it off and say thats life so live with it. For me, i am really tired from such work, its always the hey come on after this you will be free thing and yet there will be yet just another hurdle to cross. I regret alot of things and some times i hope i can just be able to know what will happen if i took the path. Regretting forgoing piano when i was young, regretting not doing things i wanted when i was truly free, regretting why did i procrastinated. I do love writing but i do not like being force to write what people expect. Now seeing other with the abilities i am envy of, i think to myself. Why did i not do so long before? Why is my truly carefree years so short? Why didnt i not think of it then? I hate it when i come home everyday and i do not have anything i truly like to do. I some times do hate myself for being so indecisive, if only i could turn time back then i would have chosen differently. There are so many things i want to do yet so little time left. if only those wasted time could be reuse, if only. Learning the piano and languages are things i would want to do. I may sound very critical and silly but i really regret wasting my time then. Those precious moments have really gone done to waste. Whats wrong with me, i hate this kind of life, this fast moving life.

Is it too late? I am really rushing against time am i not? to allow mundane things like computer to revovle around me, i am really pathethic am i not? How i wish my childhood and thinking is different then. I really regret this. I just hope this few years will get by quick and allow me to do things i long wanted to do.

I am not blaming anyone, i am just really tired. really.